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Sometimes Your Damndest Isn’t Good Enough

May 9, 2014 by Long Pham

Growing up, you’re always told to do your best and try your hardest at everything you do. Someone’s always watching. Someone will notice. What a crock of shit.

Sometimes working hard pays off, but hardly in the way that you expect it to. Most of the time, working hard yields no results. Would you consider it a success if no one knows about it? Or would you consider it a failure?

At the beginning of the year, I produced some YouTube videos titled, “How To Be A Better Man.” I haven’t had much time to work on the follow-up videos, but that hasn’t stopped me from continuing to seek self improvement in my personal life.

One of the first, and main goals, of the series was to get back in shape and make exercise a regular part of my life again. I’ve actually done rather well. I’ve been working out three days a week and sometimes get a good dose of hard manual labor through home improvement projects or yard work. Hell, the other day I was literally outside doing yard work for eight hours straight.

Something I don’t think I mentioned is that I have been battling high cholesterol for years. I was taking medication for some time, but my primary care doctor has been trying to get me off the meds and more focused on natural means of reducing my lipid levels. It’s pretty basic. Watch what you eat and get more exercise.

I admit, I led a pretty sedentary life for too many years after I got out of the Army. Sitting on my ass all day at work during twelve and a half hour shifts probably didn’t help. That’s why I was so adamant about changing my lifestyle. Plus, I didn’t want to be one of those patients where the doctor tells them to do something, but never do anything or make any changes.

That leads me to today. I felt like I have been busting my ass to work out and eat better, but I guess it didn’t really make any difference. My blood lab results came in and they were pretty much the same as they were six months ago. All the work I put in feels like it was all for naught.

The doctor probably thinks I’m sitting on my ass all day munching on cheeseburgers when in fact I have lost over eight pounds. Do you know how hard it is for an out of shape asthmatic and highly allergic person to get motivated enough to get outside and go run a couple of miles?

Damn. I can’t help but feel disappointed. Seems like it would have been easier to just be fat and happy while popping some statins to keep myself alive.

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